How I Survived The First Year
Sweet Kenneth Josephine is 1 year old today. That means I survived the first year of motherhood; and relatively unscathed I might add. There are 3 things that really helped me survive, and dare I say it, even flourish through this first year and I'd like to share my secrets.
1. I let go of any and all expectations.
Expectations are a great way to set yourself up for disappointment. I get it, it's really hard not to read all the info and get all the apps that tell you what your baby *should* be doing; but they all fail to tell you that every baby is different. Kenneth has never once slept through the night; something she *should* have been doing long ago. She didn't start crawling until she was 9 months old, and she isn't walking yet. These are all variations of normal and because I have zero expectations of how quickly she will or will not develop, these things don't bother me at all. It's really freeing to not be constantly comparing her to other babies and to just be able to roll with it and enjoy all her milestones; big and small.
2. I found a Mama tribe.
I can not even stress how important my mama tribe is in this journey. Whether they're new friends or old, they all play a special role in my life. Even if we don't get to talk or see each other a lot, knowing I'm not alone is very helpful. Motherhood can be incredibly lonely sometimes, so having a solid group of women that I know I can lean on is everything. I met a lot of these women at the group called My Morning With Mom that meets on Thursdays at the West Allis Women's Pavilion. So if you're local and looking to make some new mom friends, you should definitely check it out. Even though we all parent differently, we all offer each other different perspectives and unique support.
3. I parented from the heart.
There's a saying I like that goes something like "take what you need and leave the rest." When you're a new mom people will be giving you advice left and right on EVERYTHING. You don't even have to ask for the advice, it's great! *insert eye roll* What has worked best for me is smiling, nodding and going about my day. Now don't get me wrong, there is some great advice out there, but parenting from my gut is what has worked best for me. When Kenneth is crying, I comfort her. When she can't sleep alone, I bring her in with me. I feed her good food that nourishes her growing mind and body. I read to her everyday because I love reading and I want her to as well. She doesn't get screen time because I believe it's bad for her developing brain. All of the decisions, whether big or small, were made from my (and Dustin's) heart.
Motherhood doesn't look the same for any 2 babies, and that is okay. Being a parent is a hard job and I believe that the internet and social media makes it even harder at times. So whatever you do, do what you're comfortable with, do what makes you happy and try to soak in every single second of their littleness. Because one day you're going to wake up and have a little mini toddler on your hands and you'll be trying to figure out how to survive the second year.
1. I let go of any and all expectations.
Expectations are a great way to set yourself up for disappointment. I get it, it's really hard not to read all the info and get all the apps that tell you what your baby *should* be doing; but they all fail to tell you that every baby is different. Kenneth has never once slept through the night; something she *should* have been doing long ago. She didn't start crawling until she was 9 months old, and she isn't walking yet. These are all variations of normal and because I have zero expectations of how quickly she will or will not develop, these things don't bother me at all. It's really freeing to not be constantly comparing her to other babies and to just be able to roll with it and enjoy all her milestones; big and small.
2. I found a Mama tribe.
I can not even stress how important my mama tribe is in this journey. Whether they're new friends or old, they all play a special role in my life. Even if we don't get to talk or see each other a lot, knowing I'm not alone is very helpful. Motherhood can be incredibly lonely sometimes, so having a solid group of women that I know I can lean on is everything. I met a lot of these women at the group called My Morning With Mom that meets on Thursdays at the West Allis Women's Pavilion. So if you're local and looking to make some new mom friends, you should definitely check it out. Even though we all parent differently, we all offer each other different perspectives and unique support.
3. I parented from the heart.
There's a saying I like that goes something like "take what you need and leave the rest." When you're a new mom people will be giving you advice left and right on EVERYTHING. You don't even have to ask for the advice, it's great! *insert eye roll* What has worked best for me is smiling, nodding and going about my day. Now don't get me wrong, there is some great advice out there, but parenting from my gut is what has worked best for me. When Kenneth is crying, I comfort her. When she can't sleep alone, I bring her in with me. I feed her good food that nourishes her growing mind and body. I read to her everyday because I love reading and I want her to as well. She doesn't get screen time because I believe it's bad for her developing brain. All of the decisions, whether big or small, were made from my (and Dustin's) heart.
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