Let's Not Say That
One thing I noticed while being pregnant and after have a baby is that everybody feels like it's okay to comment on the mom's body. Whether it be that she gained a lot of weight, didn't gain enough weight, really lost that baby weight quickly, or any other variation of those things. It was really frustrating for me when I was pregnant because people would comment on my lack of weight gain; well yea, I've hardly eaten anything and I can't even drink on my own so no, I haven't gained any weight. I can't even tell you how much I obsessed over my weight while pregnant. Every Dr. appointment I would hope that I gained 1 lb, but I was usually disappointed and had lost weight instead. The disappointment was compounded when the nurse (who would never read my chart beforehand) would carelessly go "You've lost weight! Have you been sick??" I would call my mom or Dustin crying on a weekly basis after most Dr appointments. It's truly heartbreaking to feel like you're body is failing your growing baby. I did everything I could to try to keep food and liquid down and to consistently eat, but thanks to HG I was usually unsuccessful.
I'm going to get really honest for a minute here and let you all know that when people say "wow! you look so good! How did you lose all that baby weight?!" I'll smile, laugh, maybe even make a joke, but it actually hurts my heart. I had no baby weight to lose. I weighed less the day I gave birth than I did when I got pregnant. I struggled throughout my entire pregnancy constantly fearing that K was not getting what she needed because I couldn't eat. Worried about preterm labor because of dehydration. Scared that I would never be able to eat normally again. I've continued to lose weight after giving birth due to breastfeeding and some nausea that still lingers around and taking care of a baby 24/7 making it difficult for me to consume the recommended amount of calories in a day.
I realize that this is just something we say to new moms, but I am challenging you to come up with something else to say next time. Here are some suggestions for those of you that are like me and sometimes struggle with basic conversation.
1. You're baby looks just like you!
2. How are you feeling?
3. Let me bring over dinner.
4. Do you want to take a nap?
5. Let me know how I can help.
6. You're a great mom.
7. It's okay to ask for help if you need it.
8. It's okay to complain to me - I'll listen!
9. It's okay that your baby isn't sleeping.
10. You're doing an amazing job.
And when all else fails, it's okay to just stare at the baby.
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| Coke was the only thing I never threw up. |
I'm going to get really honest for a minute here and let you all know that when people say "wow! you look so good! How did you lose all that baby weight?!" I'll smile, laugh, maybe even make a joke, but it actually hurts my heart. I had no baby weight to lose. I weighed less the day I gave birth than I did when I got pregnant. I struggled throughout my entire pregnancy constantly fearing that K was not getting what she needed because I couldn't eat. Worried about preterm labor because of dehydration. Scared that I would never be able to eat normally again. I've continued to lose weight after giving birth due to breastfeeding and some nausea that still lingers around and taking care of a baby 24/7 making it difficult for me to consume the recommended amount of calories in a day.
I realize that this is just something we say to new moms, but I am challenging you to come up with something else to say next time. Here are some suggestions for those of you that are like me and sometimes struggle with basic conversation.
1. You're baby looks just like you!
2. How are you feeling?
3. Let me bring over dinner.
4. Do you want to take a nap?
5. Let me know how I can help.
6. You're a great mom.
7. It's okay to ask for help if you need it.
8. It's okay to complain to me - I'll listen!
9. It's okay that your baby isn't sleeping.
10. You're doing an amazing job.
And when all else fails, it's okay to just stare at the baby.
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