Is She a Good Baby?
This is a question I am asked almost on a daily basis. It is also a question that I loathe. There is no such thing as a bad baby. No, my 3 month old does not sleep through the night. No, I do not expect her to any time soon. If she happens to, then great; but not sleeping doesn't make her a bad baby, it makes her human. Me as a 27 year old adult did not sleep though the night pre baby, so why would this brand new tiny human? I don't really understand everyone's obsession with babies being able to sleep through the night. If I could wake up every 2-3 hours and know that someone was going to be there to feed and snuggle me, I'd probably wake up regularly as well!
Also, babies cry. Crying is their only form of communication. A crying baby is also not a bad baby; it is a baby that's trying to tell you something. I will often hear "well if you know she's not hungry and has a clean diaper then she's fine!" Oh okay, so you as an adult don't have any other needs in your life aside from being clean and full? No other physical or emotional needs? Got it! *eye roll*
I exclusively breastfeed my baby and half the time she is on the boob not because she's hungry, but because she needs to be close to me; She needs cuddles, she needs to suck on something, she needs to smell me...etc. Just because she has a clean diaper does not mean all her needs are met.
And let's talk about this gem. Kenneth needing/wanting to be close to me all the time also does not make her a bad baby. "Don't hold her too much, you'll spoil her and she'll never want you to put her down." *even bigger eye roll* You are not spoiling your child by holding them and loving them -- it actually helps their little brains develop! She spent 39 weeks inside a warm and familiar environment, was evicted into a cold scary world, and relies on other people for everything. If I experienced that trauma I would certainly want to be held all the time as well. Touch and skin to skin contact is so important for babies and I want to flick everyone in the forehead who has tried to tell me otherwise.
So do I have a good baby?
No, I have an amazing, incredible, exceptional, wonderful, beautiful, typically developing, happy baby girl that nurses every 2 hours, wakes me up 4 times a night, likes to be held all day, and occasionally screams her head off for reasons that are unknown to me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Also, babies cry. Crying is their only form of communication. A crying baby is also not a bad baby; it is a baby that's trying to tell you something. I will often hear "well if you know she's not hungry and has a clean diaper then she's fine!" Oh okay, so you as an adult don't have any other needs in your life aside from being clean and full? No other physical or emotional needs? Got it! *eye roll*
I exclusively breastfeed my baby and half the time she is on the boob not because she's hungry, but because she needs to be close to me; She needs cuddles, she needs to suck on something, she needs to smell me...etc. Just because she has a clean diaper does not mean all her needs are met.
And let's talk about this gem. Kenneth needing/wanting to be close to me all the time also does not make her a bad baby. "Don't hold her too much, you'll spoil her and she'll never want you to put her down." *even bigger eye roll* You are not spoiling your child by holding them and loving them -- it actually helps their little brains develop! She spent 39 weeks inside a warm and familiar environment, was evicted into a cold scary world, and relies on other people for everything. If I experienced that trauma I would certainly want to be held all the time as well. Touch and skin to skin contact is so important for babies and I want to flick everyone in the forehead who has tried to tell me otherwise.
So do I have a good baby?
No, I have an amazing, incredible, exceptional, wonderful, beautiful, typically developing, happy baby girl that nurses every 2 hours, wakes me up 4 times a night, likes to be held all day, and occasionally screams her head off for reasons that are unknown to me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
I love, love, love this. Well said. I had three babies. All as different from each other as night and day. My third didn't sleep through the night until he was past two years old. He was hungry at 2 am, wanted to see his mama. I think he was a very "good" baby. I was asked the same things you've been asked and told the same myths. You should have heard the old wives' tales that Grandma Thomas used to tell me. I personally don't think you can "spoil" a baby. You just love them well. You're an excellent mama. It shows in every picture and post. And most importantly, Kenneth knows you're a good mama.
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